dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
