i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
