I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
