Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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