There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
