Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
he had hair everywhere except his balls
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
