Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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