I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
