hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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