Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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