Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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