The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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