They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
