I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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