Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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