I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
