she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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