it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Someone came in the potted fern
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
