i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
