My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
