Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
