i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize