it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
