don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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