I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
