; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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