My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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