You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
