Dual....:-)
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
