They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
