U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
