I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
