do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
