wat bout pragnant strippers??
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize