I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
