I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
