If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
