We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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