In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize