Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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