Duck Duck Cougar?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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