one two three fourrrrnication!
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
