she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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