I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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