what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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