Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
