i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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