PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
