i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
i out mim tonsoeep
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