shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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