Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
