I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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