I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Randomize
