hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
