Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
