Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Still dying that you shit outside
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize
