I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I just want nice things and good sex
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
