it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
