theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
