you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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