Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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