i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
