if you like me you must not know who I am
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
