Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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