I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
